


Let's Play

by Miss_L



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Humour, cross-dressing, hot hot hot boys in dresses and such
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 14:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_L/pseuds/Miss_L
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[insert clever summary that has nothing to do with my insistent cross-dressing kink here]<br/>Also, Avengers missions. Yessss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Play

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to Kade for her amazing drawing (http://kadeart.tumblr.com/post/86030496839/the-most-beautiful-family-yeah-they-really), Herber_baby17 for introducing me to the amazing music vid with Garfield in drag, and the boys for being so willing to slip into ladies' wear ^_^
> 
> Refs:   
> http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS4BtJdVgrELGSKrSAap-2uKR7yuV9b1mEKrIMP2n0zfykUat71iA (although I imagine the colours should be reversed) and   
> http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/PLEASER-FUNTASMA-NURSE-5-25-BLACK-RED-HIGH-HEEL-SHOES-/390566246312

Director Fury had much more trouble than usual keeping his face straight. 

_Breathe, motherfucker. Work first, play later,_ he reminded himself and swallowed another upcoming giggle.

Logan and Clint were outright howling with laughter, and even Natasha allowed herself a humorous smile. Fury called everyone to order.

“Awww, come on, Fury, don’t tell me-” Logan hiccupped and bent double again, tears in his eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re not pissing yourself right now?”

The wolf wiped his eyes and tried to pull a serious face, but dissolved into giggles again the moment he looked at the culprits of such jolly.

“I'm not,” the Director replied drily. “Anyway,” he continued, voice somewhat louder to overrule the shameless guffawing. “Let’s go over the plan again, shall we?”

Just then, an unexpected – although painfully well-known – figure swung past on make-shift ropes. 

_Rip-off,_ Peter thought glumly and scratched his chest. Fuck, that lace itched!

The moment Deadpool caught sight of what was happening inside, however, he lost his balance and flew into the side of the building. For a short while, the only sound audible to the involuntary audience was the screeching of spandex sliding down tilted glass – excruciatingly slow. When the merc finally reached a vertical expanse, he plunged towards the ground with a Wilhelm scream. The Avengers finally went back to conferring about the mission.

\---

“What the _hell_ are you wearing?”

Peter refused to be aroused by the unexpected sight. Instead, he settled for exasperated sarcasm. The other man seemed unfazed as he shrugged and adjusted his ~~hot~~ ridiculous cap. Peter had to wonder where the merc had even pulled his hunting knife out of, considering none of his usual holsters were in place and the corset-bodice-thing didn't leave much to imagination… _Best not to go there,_ Spidey decided rapidly – his white dress wasn't as revealing as his Spider-Man outfit, but a hard-on was the very last thing he needed. 

“Right, scratch that, what the hell are you doing here?” Peter continued, refusing to look at Wade’s very much accentuated… Everything, really.

The mercenary scanned the dark alleys around them, then turned back to Peter. He looked the dress up and down appreciatively, then halted his gaze on the web-head’s face. Spidey tried not to fidget under the scrutiny, but failed.

“I thought we were playing dress-up,” Wade finally answered, voice low and a little bit breathy.

_Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Okay, focus._

“Avengers only,” Peter shot back. 

It came out only a tad strained. His throat was suddenly very dry, and Deadpool stepping closer only made things worse.

“Are- are you wearing pumps?” Peter choked and looked down. 

_Wrong move._

“How aren't you chafing?” 

_Ho fuck._ He hadn’t meant to say that. Nope. He wasn't even looking at- He looked back up and actually _gulped_ when he noticed how close Wade was standing now.

“Like what you see?” the crazed mercenary growled and suddenly, tacky red-and-black PVC nurse outfits _(Matching his suit,_ Peter’s foggy brain supplied helpfully) seemed to be the only thing the boy had ever found remotely attractive.

“Wilson!” 

Stark sure knew how to ruin a moment – luckily for Peter and the last shreds of his sanity. Wade kept staring at the web-head.

“Kind of busy here, Tin Can-Ma- A bonnet‽ Seriously‽”

Wade sounded more scandalised than the Gay Best Friend, complete with an imaginary (pink and sparkly) interrobang hanging above his head.

“It matches my eyes,” Tony replied coolly, hands crossed over his non-existent bosom. 

Deadpool was already distractedly poking Captain America’s “boobs”.

“Balloons? Not a bad choice, actually,” he supplied and shot the blushing patriot a grin. “Should probably have gone with red, white and blue instead of pink, though.”

Wade winked at the man, then waved his gloved fingers at the drag-trio and walked off into a dark street, heels clicking and hips swaying. 

Peter gulped. Then gulped again. Stark looked him up and down.

“Put that away before people realise you’re not a real girl,” he commented with a faint hint of distaste.

The young man looked down at himself. _Shit._ Luckily, both Cap and Tony were looking through the streets now, leaving the poor boy to battle his insistent erection in peace.


End file.
